“World Cup - and you ****** it up!”
All four sides of the ground during Everton-Arsenal game, including away fans, chanting at Graham Poll, who showed three yellow cards to the same player in the World Cup.
“If you made a lot of money selling biscuits, buy our club.”
West Ham fans to new owner, biscuit baron Eggert Magnusson, to the tune of the old Club biscuit TV advert.
“Put Your hands up for Dirk Kuyt - he loves this city!” (To the tune and rhythm of ‘Put Your Hands Up For Detroit’).
Liverpool fans to striker Dirk Kuyt.
“All bling and Burberry, high teenage pregnancy, no father on the scene, all robbing cash machines!”
A chant that Sittingbourne fans sing to local rivals Chatham (to the tune of Verdi’s La Donna e Mobile).
“Mourinho are you listening, you’d better keep our trophy glistening, coz we’ll be back in May to take it away, walking in a Fergie Wonderland!”
Manchester United fans taunt Chelsea to the tune of Winter Wonderland.
“What’s that coming over the hill? It’s Michael Chopra! It’s Michael Chopra!”
Cardiff City fans to their striker (to the tune of ‘Monster’ by The Automatic). There have been many imitations since then, but this is the original and best.
“He’s fat, he’s round, he’s kicked us out our ground, Robbie Williams, Robbie Williams.”
Scotland fans at Parkhead after the game was moved because of a Robbie gig at Hampden.
“There’s only one Emile Heskey, one Emile Heskey, he used to be s***e, but now he’s all right, walkin’ in a Heskey wonderland.”
Wigan fans to Emile Heskey (to the tune of Winter Wonderland - apparently Birmingham fans had a similar version).
“Ben-jani, who-ah-whoh whoh…he comes from Zimbabwe, he’ll score eventually.”
Pompey fans to striker Benjani Mwarawari.
“Geordies at home, watching The Bill.”
Sung by Boro fans during the second leg of their Uefa Cup semi-final at the Riverside.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, February 23, 2007
Little Joke
This man is at work one day when he notices that his male co- worker is wearing an earring.
This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."
"Yo, Bob, I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Oh, yeah, sure," says Bob sheepishly.
"Really? How long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in our bed!"
This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."
"Yo, Bob, I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Oh, yeah, sure," says Bob sheepishly.
"Really? How long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in our bed!"
Friday, February 16, 2007
George Hamilton - Legend
Metaphor king, chicken counter extraordinaire, and master of many languages. George Hamilton and your guff, we simply stand back and admire.
"Real Madrid are like a rabbit in the glare of the headlights in the face of Manchester United's attacks. But this rabbit comes with a suit of armour in the shape of two precious away goals."
Simply the greatest sentence ever uttered.
“And Hyypia rises like a giraffe to head the ball clear.”
George alludes to the giant African mammal renowned for its mighty leaps.
"Russia have beaten Ireland 4-2, Albania 4-1 and now Switzerland 4-1 at home. It would be a wise man who bet against them beating Georgia."
Bet George Hamilton's a popular man down his local bookies.
”What a goal. What a goal! Straight through the legs of Adams, it flew towards the roof of the net like a Wurlitzer!"
Hope that didn't go straight down the keeper's throat.
”The midfield are like a chef...........trying to prise open a stubborn oyster to get at the fleshy meat inside.”
Reckon Keano would have got the hammer out.
“The orange tide is lapping against the green door which refuses to open.”
George is all at sea with this maritime metaphor.
"Glum Oranges. In fact I think the fruit their feelings are more akin to is a lemon."
The coup de grace from Ireland’s defeat of Holland.
“We could let them score one now and they wouldn't have time to score another.”
George perhaps reveals why he choose commentary above coaching as he comes up with a novel way of running down the clock.
”Kevin Moran.....oldest man on the pitch today...35 years of age.....of course the referee could possibly be older than that ......and technically he's on the pitch too.....then again his linesmen could be even older than him... but are they technically 'on' the pitch.”
George digs and digs 'til daylight is but a distant memory.
”That should be NO problem for the defence - OH NOOOO!!"
A familiar refrain.
"Poland have to score twice now to draw and they will not do so."
The Poles duly knock one in. Minutes later.....
"I might be tempting fate but I can't see the Poles scoring...OH NOOOO they just have!!"
By DangerHere's calculations, George is directly responsible for 87% of the goals Ireland have conceded during his reign in the gantry.
George: "Roy Carsley has it"
Jim: "Lee Carsley, George"
George: "Ah yes, perhaps it's because his head reminds me of Ray Wilkins"
“Italy are preparing to make a substitution - and it is, the unmistakable figure............of Roberto Baggio”
George announces the arrival on the pitch of..... Gianluca Vialli. Unfortunately, the two subs had got their shirts mixed up.
“And Ireland have got to contain the brothers Baggio.”
George surely was the only one not to know.
”The Baggio brothers, of course, are not related.”
But at least he cleared it up. Or did he?
”The seeds of doubt that were sown at the weekend against Egypt have been doused by a dose of Jack Charlton's almighty weedkiller.”
George goes green in Italia 90
“If that’s not offside, I’m a Chinaman!”
George reveals his oriental background after a perfectly correct refereeing decision.
“You sir, are an idiot!”
George politely rebukes Lilian Laslandes after a red card offence.
“He's pulling him off. The Spanish manager is pulling his Captain off!”
Our George thinks THE George as Butragueno is replaced.
”Red Sky at night, good day tomorrow.”
George reckons that the popular proverb needs a little simplification
”Bless my soul, he’s missed it!”
George is disappointed in Simone Inzaghi's penalty taking skills.
"Two nil and the ability to score goals in seventeen consecutive matches, getting the ball in the net, it, the shape of what we're to expect, even if Iran are good, has to be positive."
George in succinct stylist mode
"And we're now watching a traditional Korean Drum Dance, performed by the appropriately named Kim Yung BONG"
George finds something of interest during the World Cup draw preliminaries.
"The ESB-sponsored Georgian special Olympics team will be in Dublin this year and maybe they will reflect on the night Ireland came to Tbilisi and provided more than power."
Pure George
"We're into the second moment of stoppage time of which there isn't one."
George breaks new ground to become the first commentator to enter a time vacuum
"The flags are waving, and no doubt at the foot of the Alps, the cow bells are chiming too. And it's going to take a lot for Ireland to turn it round and sour the chocolate."
The moment Ireland knew the World Cup game was up.
"...the industrious Czech, to the German Hamann, to Murphy, the quintessential Englishman."
I'm sure even Danny Murphy would doff his top hat to that one.
"They've really eked this one out. Like coal miners mining their seam until they finally reach the surface with their precious black gold."
Another George classic at the end of Arsenal - Kiev.
"Real Madrid are like a rabbit in the glare of the headlights in the face of Manchester United's attacks. But this rabbit comes with a suit of armour in the shape of two precious away goals."
Simply the greatest sentence ever uttered.
“And Hyypia rises like a giraffe to head the ball clear.”
George alludes to the giant African mammal renowned for its mighty leaps.
"Russia have beaten Ireland 4-2, Albania 4-1 and now Switzerland 4-1 at home. It would be a wise man who bet against them beating Georgia."
Bet George Hamilton's a popular man down his local bookies.
”What a goal. What a goal! Straight through the legs of Adams, it flew towards the roof of the net like a Wurlitzer!"
Hope that didn't go straight down the keeper's throat.
”The midfield are like a chef...........trying to prise open a stubborn oyster to get at the fleshy meat inside.”
Reckon Keano would have got the hammer out.
“The orange tide is lapping against the green door which refuses to open.”
George is all at sea with this maritime metaphor.
"Glum Oranges. In fact I think the fruit their feelings are more akin to is a lemon."
The coup de grace from Ireland’s defeat of Holland.
“We could let them score one now and they wouldn't have time to score another.”
George perhaps reveals why he choose commentary above coaching as he comes up with a novel way of running down the clock.
”Kevin Moran.....oldest man on the pitch today...35 years of age.....of course the referee could possibly be older than that ......and technically he's on the pitch too.....then again his linesmen could be even older than him... but are they technically 'on' the pitch.”
George digs and digs 'til daylight is but a distant memory.
”That should be NO problem for the defence - OH NOOOO!!"
A familiar refrain.
"Poland have to score twice now to draw and they will not do so."
The Poles duly knock one in. Minutes later.....
"I might be tempting fate but I can't see the Poles scoring...OH NOOOO they just have!!"
By DangerHere's calculations, George is directly responsible for 87% of the goals Ireland have conceded during his reign in the gantry.
George: "Roy Carsley has it"
Jim: "Lee Carsley, George"
George: "Ah yes, perhaps it's because his head reminds me of Ray Wilkins"
“Italy are preparing to make a substitution - and it is, the unmistakable figure............of Roberto Baggio”
George announces the arrival on the pitch of..... Gianluca Vialli. Unfortunately, the two subs had got their shirts mixed up.
“And Ireland have got to contain the brothers Baggio.”
George surely was the only one not to know.
”The Baggio brothers, of course, are not related.”
But at least he cleared it up. Or did he?
”The seeds of doubt that were sown at the weekend against Egypt have been doused by a dose of Jack Charlton's almighty weedkiller.”
George goes green in Italia 90
“If that’s not offside, I’m a Chinaman!”
George reveals his oriental background after a perfectly correct refereeing decision.
“You sir, are an idiot!”
George politely rebukes Lilian Laslandes after a red card offence.
“He's pulling him off. The Spanish manager is pulling his Captain off!”
Our George thinks THE George as Butragueno is replaced.
”Red Sky at night, good day tomorrow.”
George reckons that the popular proverb needs a little simplification
”Bless my soul, he’s missed it!”
George is disappointed in Simone Inzaghi's penalty taking skills.
"Two nil and the ability to score goals in seventeen consecutive matches, getting the ball in the net, it, the shape of what we're to expect, even if Iran are good, has to be positive."
George in succinct stylist mode
"And we're now watching a traditional Korean Drum Dance, performed by the appropriately named Kim Yung BONG"
George finds something of interest during the World Cup draw preliminaries.
"The ESB-sponsored Georgian special Olympics team will be in Dublin this year and maybe they will reflect on the night Ireland came to Tbilisi and provided more than power."
Pure George
"We're into the second moment of stoppage time of which there isn't one."
George breaks new ground to become the first commentator to enter a time vacuum
"The flags are waving, and no doubt at the foot of the Alps, the cow bells are chiming too. And it's going to take a lot for Ireland to turn it round and sour the chocolate."
The moment Ireland knew the World Cup game was up.
"...the industrious Czech, to the German Hamann, to Murphy, the quintessential Englishman."
I'm sure even Danny Murphy would doff his top hat to that one.
"They've really eked this one out. Like coal miners mining their seam until they finally reach the surface with their precious black gold."
Another George classic at the end of Arsenal - Kiev.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
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